Another year. It's that time again, time to celebrate the birth of these sweet little loves of mine!
As I tucked them in tonight I told them the story of their birth. They love hearing true stories, especially about themselves. When finishing the story, I found myself with a huge lump in my throat. Eight years ago today... what an incredible day it was.
Early in the a.m. the pain great more intense and I knew it was almost time. I remember feeling terrified. Were they going to be okay, healthy? I think the true worry landed on was I going to be enough. The mom they needed? Would I be good at this whole mom thing, would I know the words to say in the challenging moments, could I raise them to be good people in society. There were lots of worries and even doubt.
I think thats just something we do as moms, parents really. Worry, hope, pray, and work our asses off to give our kiddo's the best we can... more than we had, even when we had it really good.
When I look at these two tiny humans, I know I am doing something right. Somehow in this life, I am doing what I am called to do as a parent... and I think it's working. Yeah, I fail... all the time but I think we teach them through our failures. They see that we are human, they watch how we recover, and they soak it up and then later... we watch, and we see what they are learning.
My Livi Girl,
You are the a light. You love bigger than any human I've ever known. You just told me tonight that you're going to adopt one day because lots of babies need mommies. You're 8, I can hardly wrap my mind around how you can already love people that big. It's a special thing my love.
You skip and cartwheel and have absolutely no recollection of what's going on around you because this world is your stage. You only see pink and you make friends with all the strangers out there, which is rather terrifying for your momma but, I think that might be one of those "failures" that I taught you.
You're quick to throw your head back and belly laugh with the best of them but you thrive off your quiet moments alone. I often find you in your room singing to yourself and creating... From trash bag dresses to creating purses out of trash from the trash can you can see the positive and the potential in it all. That's how you see life and people. I hope you are always wired that way, and while your hoareder-like bedroom makes me crazy, I hope you never lose your free spirt. May you always love big and see the good.
Thank you for loving your momma, for tickling my arm, helping me clean up the cat poop, and falling asleep with your hand on my cheek. You remind me that every single day is good. You make me a better person. And I am so thankful and lucky that I was chosen to be your momma. Happy Birthday!
My Londyn Love,
You are a thinker, an analyzer, a problem solver. You have an integrity about you that most will never know or understand. Your heart is good good good.You are drawn to learn and discover the deep truth of everything.
What I love most about our relationship, is we talk. I love that you will sit with me and ask me thought provoking questions, comprehend it and then push for more. Your curiosity about Jesus makes my heart swell. You already love him so but you have lots of questions. I like that. You don't just blindly believe, you need something tangible to help you understand. Don't ever change that. Always wonder and seek. That will get you far in this life and it will also lead you to feeling fully confident in your decisions. Your level of intellect challenges me every day. You have the capability to move mountains and I am fully confident that you will. Continue to run towards your goals, ask questions and show people what a good good good heart looks like.
You tell me daily, "you know what I did kind today mommy?"And you quickly recognize when others exemplify those similar qualities. Your sweet heart makes me proud and I love you more than you could ever imagine.
Thank you for loving your momma, for spending hours talking to me, for making your bed every morning without being asked, and asking me every night to sing to you. You remind me that every single day is good. You make me a better person. And I am so thankful and lucky that I was chosen to be your momma. Happy Birthday!
Happy. Full.
Natalie
